Born Extraordinary by Meg Zucker

Author:Meg Zucker [Zucker, Meg]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Published: 2023-03-07T00:00:00+00:00

Oh, and for the record, I no longer use chopsticks. What was I possibly thinking? It is undeniably easier for me to use a fork. These days, waiters just smile when handing me a utensil, often unprompted. And now I swallow my pride, gratefully accepting their genuine offers of help. Let’s face it. I’d be the real schmuck if I decided to decline.

INVITE YOUR CHILD TO SHARE THEIR PERSPECTIVE WITH YOU

It is hard for most people to imagine a life in which they’re immediately perceived as less-than by everyone around them. And although I can offer insight into different ways your child might navigate well-meaning interventions into their life, each child really needs their own tailored plan that reflects their unique experience. I am reminded of a father who was trying to teach his legally blind son how to safely cross the street. But every time this dad would take a step back to encourage his son to cross by himself, someone would invariably grab the boy by the elbow from behind. The father was so focused on training his son to be safe that he hadn’t considered what it felt like to be in his son’s shoes. The boy became frustrated, telling his dad he wanted to go home.

“You don’t understand what it’s like!” he shouted.

But the father desperately wanted to understand. Asking his son to sit on a bench for a moment, he grabbed his son’s walking stick and pretended to cross the street. On three separate occasions, strangers grabbed his arm from behind to help.

“I was startled every time they touched me . . . and became increasingly annoyed,” he said.

Your child desperately needs to know you get it. By taking opportunities to understand their experience and listening to them describe how others’ reactions make them feel, you’ll be better equipped to support them in meaningful ways. If you can’t witness what they’re going through directly, ask your child to provide you with their own examples. Consider role-playing and reverse role-playing each scenario, pretending to be them and vice versa. Ask questions like:

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